That is a Spade

NOTICE: I want you to know that, due to a deceased motherboard, I no longer have a computer at home, and blogging without one is, obviously, difficult. I am now using Dave's iPad that he generously left home for me today. My first post from an iPad, exciting stuff. (Forgive my typing deficiencies as a result) Posts may be scarce until I'm set up with a new computer... Moving on...today in my thought/study time I came across something quite convicting...which is a fancy way of saying that it made me feel guilty, or more accurately, I realized I was guilty. There is this little verse in James 4 that goes something like, "change your laughter to mourning and your joy to sorrow." Back up the truck! I thought it was "turn your mourning to dancing, joy comes in the morning"?! Upon further reflection and instruction I was able to see that this more was referring to those times when I do indeed need to 'back up the truck' and take note of how I have taken joy in the pleasures of the world, and in so doing have defamed the name of Christ. The times I have participated in the laughter over a fellow believer's ridicule. The times I have watched a program that I knew I had no business indulging in as a believer. The many times I have thought myself so superior. The ways I have jumped in the sack with the world, and enjoyed it, and justified it. Over those times, and seasons of my life I need to mourn. I need to recall the times I've acted as though God wasn't serious when he said "flee from sin!" Like I might be somehow the one who could play with fire and not get burned. I need to take by the throat the thoughts that have so often let me off the hook because my sin isn't THAT bad, or as bad as it could be. The things I have not been really that sorry about. Pride, envy, greed, conceit, self-righteousness, slander... The sad truth is, I have a hundred excuses why I have displayed all these and more. My friends may try to comfort me that there is truth in the excuses. We do that to each other don't we. I tell you that your bitterness is 'understandable'. You tell me that my pride is 'deserved'. I say things like "with all due respect" when I really mean none at all. Today James called a spade a spade. And made me do the same. Let's be honest, there is some need for tears, real mourning, over the glory I have stolen from the Almighty; the sorrow I have caused my Father; the hurt I have heaped on my brothers and sisters. And the bits of pleasure I have taken in doing so. The hope in it all - the joy in being restored to life and the freedom of being out from under sin's deceitful veil. The hope of a new day, even before tomorrow's dawn. Fast and free forgiveness. Let's not leave on that note. Let's recall the promise of "no condemnation for those whose are in Christ Jesus." Let's cling to the truth that we are made in the image of a holy God, to do good works and live in freedom and joy. Let's be so thankful for a redeemed life that is in the process of being refined. Today I began to see a little more luster in the gold as a result of that refining fire. Thank you Lord!

Yellow Valentine

Okay, so I haven't been great at consistency over the last week or so, but I'm back.  Now to remember all the things I was going to blog about... At this minute I can't think of one.

 Just a sec...

I'll think of one...

Oh, yeah! No wait, that will take way longer than I have...

ummmm...

uhhh...

right. Here's one:

My 6 year old daughter is pretty nearly my twin in every way.  I mean sometimes she can read my thoughts! Love her.  She however hasn't grasped my need for organization and neatness.  (Some who have seen my house won't believe I have grasped this, but 'tis true).  When her kindergarten teacher gave the class the 'go ahead' to bring valentines, Tess could not wait one day.  She had 9 days to bring them in but she had to make them immediately.  I suggested that we could take a trip to the local discount store to get red and pink construction paper or glitter or just to get some inspiration from the craft aisle, but she was dead set on grabbing the 12 year old legal pad my mom had brought in a stack that she purchased at an estate sale.  Yes, the yellow lined paper that you are thinking of quickly became 23 hearts...that then got taped together to look like snow cone cups.  She quickly scribbled each name on their own "heart" (really you can't even tell they are hearts anymore.) I cringed and my inner Martha Stewart wailed and I couldn't help but say, "why don't you add a little picture or note on each one".  this is my child that LOVES to color and draw and decorate - but at this point getting them finished and ready for taking to school was of the utmost importance. So, she quickly scratched 'It's Valintines (nice phonics?) Day!' on some, and drew one colored pictures with soon-to-be dry markers on others.  And now for 3 days has been begging to take them to school, where the candy hearts we will put inside would be left to get hard and even nastier than they inherently are.

But through it all, I [mostly] kept my mouth shut.  There was a time that I would have refused to let her give those valentines, or I would have hijacked the project and made them pretty or at least cute, or at the very least neatly written - because I would have been overly concerned about what the teacher or other student's parents might have thought.  I am not claiming the urge has completely subsided, but I am less concerned with my appearance to others and more interested in Tess giving something that is truly from her.  I'm not sure she won't get to the Valentine's Day party and see some of the cute treats and cards that she gets and wishes she had thought and planned a bit more (I have passed on a bit of taste...). But she may not.  She may be perfectly happy with her legal pad paper creations.  And I will keep one in her memory box and pull it out in 15 years and remember more about her than if it had been a store-bought Barbie card, or cute-crafty thing I made.

I just love seeing them become who they are.
These little glimpses are so precious.

I also see how I have grown a little more into who I am.