Go ahead. Gasp. Roll your eyes. Judge me as a condescending, judgmental, religious fanatic and fun-hater. Go ahead...get it our of your system. It's true. I HATE Halloween. I don't use that word much...almost never in fact. But in this case, it is entirely appropriate.
I've come to find out it's kinda crazy - and pretty unheard of, but the truth is: I have never celebrated Halloween. I never went trick-or-treating as a kid. Not once. AND I married a guy who never has either. Weird right? I guess weirdo's attract. And here is the kicker... we've never taken our 4 kids out, OR handed out candy... We don't celebrate Halloween. (I think there was one time when some friends brought over their adorable costumed kiddos and I found some old tootsie rolls on top of the refrigerator to throw in their bucket. And another time that T1 had on his Incredibles jammies and I added black snow boots to it and he looked like Dash - and it was October 31. True confessions.)
Anywho... I know some of you might be wondering what life was like for a little girl growing up in suburbia who didn't celebrate Halloween. Here's a peek:
Growing up there was this build up of anxiety as the beginning of school excitement wore off, and changing of the fall leaves became common. People started talking about "What are you going to be for Halloween?" Ugh. I hated that question. I hated the raised eyebrows and the looks of disgust when I simply and shyly said, "We don't celebrate Halloween." I hated going home early on the day of our class Halloween party (we still had those way back then) - or worse sitting in the library until it was over. I hated beggars night, when my mom would post an out-of-context Bible verse on our door and we would sit in the dark in our basement until the doorbell stopped ringing. And I hated the morning after, when everyone was talking about the fun they had and the best candy loot.
But before you start feeling sorry for me and all the fun I missed and scorn I endured, you need to know - this is not why I hate Halloween.
It's taken me many years to figure out the real reason I hate it so much. You see, even in the midst of the struggles that battling it caused me growing up, deep down, it was something I wanted nothing to do with. There was an underdeveloped but persistent conviction that it wasn't just harmless costumes and candy. While I wasn't ready to label it "devil worship" - as my mother explained it - there was a sense of evil and darkness - even in the princesses and cowboys.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist - or theologian - to look around and figure out what Halloween is about. Whether you buy into the folklore about the spirits coming out on All Hallow's Eve the night before All Saints Day and people trying to scare them away with scary jack-o-lanterns and costumes or whether you just think kids in superhero costumes are adorable and want to feed America's obesity epidemic (just kidding) you cannot deny that Halloween - in its most basic form is about three things -
Fear. Death. and Darkness.
Mummies, zombies, ghosts, graveyards, jack-o-lanterns - just think about Halloween and you can fit most of its traditional markers into one of those categories. Why was my weekly Redbox promo email filled with horror movies this week? At this time of year, our culture is saturated with these things...its what Halloween is about. No matter how you try to sweeten it.
And I want nothing to do with it. Nothing.
Here are three things I want to be about: Love. Life. and Light.
Funny how these are the polar opposite of the three afore mentioned themes of this holiday. How can I take a one night, or one season, break from my foundational beliefs in the name of what, fun? Here is why I hate Halloween. It celebrates - glorifies - sensationalizes, whatever you want to call it - the complete opposite of what I want my life to stand for. I so desperately want the world to know deep love, abundant life and true light that I can't see any circumstance to celebrate its nemesis. No amount of fun or cuteness or candy (well maybe Snickers...just kidding) could tempt me to give the opponent an open shot - at my heart, or my home, or the people I love. I give Evil ground too often without knowing it, to pretend that treading knowingly in enemy territory isn't asking for trouble.
Growing up it was implied that people who did choose to celebrate Halloween were "celebrating Satan". I have worked really hard to make sure my kids understand that, while I don't understand why, (because I really don't) there are really good people who choose to celebrate Halloween. They don't see the harm in an innocent costume and candy. I want our kids to have soft, compassionate hearts towards everyone, whether we agree on everything or not. I want to keep them from judgmental and self-righteous attitudes for as long as I can. This is not a holier-than-thou soap box sermon. It's one of those precious, real times when I can show them that being fully engaged in the messiness of this world provides us with an opportunity to stand strong and reminds everyone, maybe mostly ourselves, to whom we belong.
But, make no mistake, I have worked equally as hard to help our kids understand why we don't celebrate. I've taken the opportunity to help them understand that somethings I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole. An opossum is one, and the dark realities of Halloween are another. I don't scoff at a jack-o-lantern or make them burn the Halloween word search from their spelling lesson. And there will come a time when I will let them make their own choices about their participation. But when given the opportunity, when comforting them after they've had to utter the dreaded, "We don't celebrate Halloween." to a friend, I am sure to remind them, that we want to be about life, and light and love. And that sometimes, what everybody else does and thinks is going to be different than what we think. And that it's hard. And I think they are beginning to understand. I think they have that deep-down knowing too.
And just so we're clear...
There is no shortage of celebrating at our house house. We dress up all the time. (Do I need to tell you how dramatic we all are??!!) We throw big themed birthday parties every year where each of our kids can express what they are "into" that year. We eat candy (probably more often than we should). Because there isn't anything wrong with those things.
But the lessons learned, about being in the light, and about being the light were not lost on this little girl.
"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse."
