Back from Africa!

Well, I have been utterly terrible at updating this lately, but I did want to share at least a few pictures and a brief overview of my time in Uganda earlier this month. The trip ended up being more of a work trip than we expected which was fine.  We learned that in Uganda, you just go with the flow and usually have a pretty great time. An example of this was that Craig was preaching and we were staying with the head pastor and yet we left for church 20 minutes after it started.  But no big deal!  We had to give up our American values of promptness and planning - it was a great lesson.

So while we did see the kids from the orphan bases it wasn't much time with them. However, after meeting them and seeing them, we realized they are so well adjusted and cared for - there wouldn't be much for us to do. So, we relinquished our time with them to a couple of afternoons of playing.

4 of our 6 days in country were spent building this widow home - actually a 'duplex':

Day 1 - carrying pans of dirt to fill the floors.

Day 2 - carrying bricks - 2 by 2 - and mortar in the pans.

Day 3 - finishing up walls and the latrine.
This is the day I learned to lay brick using a plumb line and string.

Day 4 - Here is Agnes (left) and Sarah and her kids (right) who will live in the house.

The house (paid for by funds raised by the students of Third Church) allowed us the opportunity to work with some of the staff from FDLM as well as a number of the kids.  After the kids graduate from high school they basically wait their turn to attend college - which comes whenever David can get the $2000/year it costs to send 1 student.  While they wait they act as support staff and help on the orphan bases and with ministry projects like this one.  We also enjoyed help and time with the local village kids and women.

Here is a picture of all of us who worked on the house.  You'll hear more specifically about some of their stories later.

The Crew
Despite their faces here - they are such a joyful and social people...they do not however, like to smile for pictures. :)

David Zijjan (above on the right by Mark and Craig - in jeans) - the founder of Father's Divine Love Ministries and pastor of the church - has great vision on how to provide for the nearly 100 kids he directly supports and the additional 200 he supports via the widow program.  (In a nut shell - when you provide a permanent home and food for a widow, she is able to keep and care for her own children - ensuring they do not become orphans.)

One of the ways David is trying to become more self sustaining is by farming.  on Wednesday we travelled about and hour and a half from Jinja to the 50 acres he has bought and is preparing for farming.  He employs 3 men from the church who work the field and also another who acts as land supervisor.  The youth of third raised the money for this tractor that is necessary for field work as also is rented out for additional money.

The "muzunga" (white guy) had to give it a shot...we are from Iowa after all:

 

I look forward to sharing more of my thoughts and experiences, but laundry calls, as I slip back into life here.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to worship and work along side my brothers and sisters in Jinjga, Uganda.  I am also ever grateful for the better understanding I have of God and his heart for justice and His desire for us to care for the widow and orphan; to battle injustice.  I am also, of course, thankful to so many who made it possible for me to go. What a blessing.

Until later, 

Brystal

  

Birthday's are a Big Deal

I think birthday's are a big deal.  Not getting the perfect present, but taking a day to celebrate someone's existence on the earth.  That is why, and it comes as no surprise, that I make a big deal out of my kids' birthdays.  We talk about it and plan and make it a super celebration of them.  I secretly tuck away sweet memories of their favorite things from that year.  I don't let them choose the thing they are "into" that month. Oh no! We think about their year and what they have been really excited about, and make a  themed party and, my favorite part, the cake, to reflect it.


Two of my four have birthday's coming up in the next month.  I just sat talking with them about what kind of party and cakes they wanted.  I love to celebrate them on their birthdays. Each year while I work so carefully on that year's cake (this year is Little House On the Prairie for girlie), I take my time remembering the Barbie, and Princess, and tea party years, and store up all those times in my heart. I make their cakes my labor of love for them - really trying to capture their passions at that age. This was Tess' 5th b-day: a "Fancy Ladies" theme with a pink wedding cake.

Titus' cake last year.

Trace's most recent cake

My baby turns 4 this year and he is set on " 'Vengers" (the Avengers, but I don't correct him 'cause it's so cute!) and I can't help but remember how he's turned into a boy this year.  Last year's Curious George reminds me of his adventurous toddlerhood - and now, his fitting theme announces the fearless hero he's destined to be breaking through...even as he sits now at my feet dressed in his sister's black velvet skirt and white high heels, dressing a baby doll.

Just for fun, let's look back on my precious babies and their phases: (You can tell when I got my groove on in the cake decorating area - the earlier ones were years in training...or I was so tired from begin pregnant, cupcakes was all I could muster! :) )

Titus:
1 - Cupcakes with FunFetti frosting (But I did put him in a Grover onesie...how I wanted him to love Grover! )
2 - "T" for Trucks, Trains (Thomas, precisely), Two and Titus! (cupcakes again.)
3 - Lightning McQueen
4 - Checkered Flag (Racing)
5 - Lego Brick (and a Transformers)
6 - R2D2 (LEGO Star Wars)
7 - Mario (Nintendo)
8 - Comic Book

Tess:
1 - A Luau Theme
2 - Chocolate cake with Daddy.
3 - Barbie (the classic doll with a cake bowl skirt - I even cut her off at the knees - YIKES!)
4 - Tea Party
5 - Fancy Ladies
6 - Baking (this year I let the girls decorate the cake and my labor of love was making aprons for them)
7 - (coming up!) Little House on the Prairie

Trace:
1 - hmmm (I can't remember?! How Horrible is that??...And I can't find pictures?!)
2 - Tractor (John DEERE)
3 - Tractor (again...see I can now remember how long that phase was for our little worker man!)
4 - Angry Birds (40 cupcakes - individually decorated as birds...oh my, never again.)
5 - Phineas and Ferb

Trent:
1 - A "1" filled with M&M's
2 - Tractor (A red one) I'm pretty good at tractors...
3 - Curious George
4 - (coming up!) The Avengers

I know I should put pics of them up...once I figure out what's up with my photo storage site, I will...if I remember!

Thanks for remembering with me. Dang, I like them.

Africa or Bust!

I wanted to let you know about my upcoming trip to Uganda, Africa! If I was still on Facebook I might have created a status such as "Headed to Africa in August!!!" to announce.  But, I am excited to announce this way, and have a chance to tell you a little bit about the trip.

A small (5) group of us will travel to Jinja, Uganda from August 8 - 17.  We will be working with a man named Pastor David, the founder of Father's Divine Love Ministries.  His focus is on widow and orphan care.  The student ministries at our church, through the Heartwork organization,  has been supporting his work for about a year and has raised staggering amounts of money to fund wells, more homes, orphan care, and even a tractor.  This trip marks an advancement in our church's relationship with David and his ministry.

We will be spending as much time familiarizing ourselves with the multi-faceted workings of the ministry in the hopes of coming home and being advocates for the Ugandan people as well as for David and his ministry. He often has to pay the great price of leaving his family and the ministry for 2 - 3 week stints in America at times only to raise $5000.  To put it in perspective, every time he is able to build a new widow home his monthly operating costs rise approximately $1800/month. We also hope to document through photos and video the ways the students have impacted this community through their selfless and compassion-filled giving. 

As most of you know, justice and mercy have long been a mark on my life and heart, and I am excited to see what is in store for me as I very personally experience the plight of the widow and orphan in Uganda.  I have recently been in a stage of waiting and wondering what might be next for me and believe this may certainly be part of me discovering more about the plans for the next leg of my journey.  

I guess that is about it.  I would ask for your thoughts and prayers as I prepare to go, travel and experience Africa.  If you would like to be included in a group to receive updates and prayer requests email me or DM me on twitter: @brystalhopkins. 

Likewise, if you are led to help cover the costs (travel, specialized gear, shots, documents, etc.) of this adventure it is so appreciated. It looks to be around $2000 including airfare. 

You can send tax-deductible donations made out to Third Church to:

Third Church

708 E. 13th Street

Pella, IA 50219

check memo: Brystal Hopkins' Uganda Trip 

If the tax deduction isn't a factor you can feel free to use my home address.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers for me and for Dave and the kids as I prepare to be gone and so far away. We are confident that there are big things in store for us as a result of what I experience in Jinja.

With excitement and gratitude, 

Brystal

From the Front Room

Well, it's Thursday evening and I find myself sitting in the dimly lit front room waiting for Dave to get home so we can watch "Iron Man 2".  I have been chasing the movie down for four days.  Stopping daily at the 3 Redbox's in town, checking for it online, all to no avail...then in a flash of hope I found that it was due today at the library and I swooped in and nabbed it. PHEW! It was a close one.

We've decided to try to watch several of these recently released MARVEL hero flicks before heading out to see "The Avengers"...apparently many others have had the same idea.  I've got my name in on reserve for "Captain America" - due tomorrow. I'm sleek and stealth like that.

So here are some other things that I have been thinking about:

• I had fruit snacks today. Sometimes they are so good! 
• T2 told me she sees her teacher's face more than mine, so sometimes she thinks I am her teacher when she glances at me. Not sure how to feel about that. Glad summer is coming.
• I prepped some frosting for T3's birthday cake.  The bakery assured me that the frosting would keep from my last March birthday cake - it tastes fine, but it stinks. I ordered fresh.
• I have to keep hiking my pants up today.  Are they too big? (YAY!) Or are my muffin tops pushing them down? (BOO)
• I made a nasty dinner tonight.  When the kids saw what I was making they were all, "sick! I am not eating that!" It's true I found myself trying to come up with excuses as to why I should have something else...all the while telling my whining kids they "should be thankful I am even making supper" and "you don't know you hate it until you try it.". We supplemented dinner with grilled brats...and drowned aforementioned nastiness in syrup. (Like Buddy the elf!)
• I got very little accomplished today. But T3 and I did read 2 chapters of Zorba the Hutt's Revenge. It's third in a series of who knows how many.  We've already tackled The Glove of Darth Vader, and The Lost City of the Jedi. Riveting I assure you.  So wonderful in fact, the children's librarian laughs at me every time she sees me heading back to that section for the next installment.  She likes to remind me that checking them out ensures that they stay on the shelf! Oh how I wish they weren't on the shelf. The thing that really bugs me is, much like the 'Left Behind' series, they so slowly move through the plot that each book leads into the next and the story never resolves...you have to read the next book! It's some sort of torture I'm sure. But T3 loves them...oh, the things we do for love.
• I'm looking for a nice, cozy, off the beaten path place to go for dinner on our 10th anniversary. My original plan of a local inn that serves a 5 course seasonal meal with wine pairings for each course fell through and now I'm back to the drawing board. Any suggestions? 

Well, Dave still isn't home and I've run out of even moderately interesting musings. 

So, I'll sign off.

Sweet dreams. 

BLUE LIKE JAZZ : 2 - Awkward

One of the most impact-full scenes in Blue Like Jazz for me was at the end (SPOILER ALERT) when Don finally addresses the Pope (a brilliant atheist friend of Don's at Reed College) in the 'confessional' after he has passed the position of Pope on to Don for the next year...it sounds weird and too hard to explain, but stay with me.

He has joined this friend in several offensive acts of vandalism and in the process has discovered that as a young boy he [the Pope] was very hurt by a leader of the church.  In this closing scene, Don puts his desire to be excepted by his friend on the line and apologizes (a bit on behalf of the church) for the hurt that was caused him...something the Pope didn't even realize Don had picked up on.  As Don, for seemingly the first time, dawns the door of a serious heart-to-heart the Pope comments, "This is about to get weird isn't it?" To which Don replies, "Probably."


Sometimes to take the step from buddies to friends we have to be willing to cross that threshold of "awkward". But I think often Christians invite themselves into these sacred of conversations with people they haven't earned the trust and respect of yet.  Often don't we see our not yet believing friends as projects?  Aren't we secretly waiting for that little comment that allows us to stick our foot in the door and leave it there even if the person inside has decided they'd rather shut it?

I am not saying that spiritual conversation has to be limited to deep friendships and that opportunities don't present themselves in less intimate settings and relationships, but I am saying that sometimes we rush these conversations to the point of not being as effective as they might be if we sat back and really listened, invested, loved and spoke out of a deep conviction and love for that person.  To wait until the conversation is less about conversion and more about restoration. (Not to imply that conversion is not important.)

It's just that in this scene it struck me that this character [the Pope] had spent a decade or more defaming the church, God, and anyone who was silly enough to believe - and yet without knowing befriended one of these sillies [Don] and in the end was deeply effected when that friend-who hadn't spent their relationship preaching, but listening and loving-finally took that step. The Pope opened the door and invited Don inside. You see, the 'awkward' conversation was atypical for their friendship, but it wasn't offensive or insensitive.  It was weird.  They put that out there and forged ahead into it together, and the result was beautiful.

Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I wasn't known as a Christian.  Is that horrible?  I don't know.  There is just so much hurt and preconceived notions about "Christians".  I would love it if I lived in such a way that I reflected Jesus and people like the Pope wanted to be around me, and in the end I would authentically love them enough to have that "weird", hope-filled, restorative, conversation. And that they would love me back enough to listen.

The Potty Problem

I've felt like my blog posts are much to serious most of the time.  In fact , if you don't know me, you might think me quiet and contemplative, when most of the time I am neither of those.  I love to have fun.  I love to laugh.  I wouldn't be characterized as "quiet" by anyone...so why is my blog so...I don't know - serious?

I think it might be because I often use my blog time to work through the things that I muse on throughout my otherwise mundane days.  When I sit to write and think, I'm not that keen on dwelling on, what is to me, ordinary.  I want to feel like I am engaged in worthwhile thought and often stories of the lunch conversation, while funny, don't seem life-changing.

Today however, my blog is my venting spot for something much less earth-shattering than some former topics. Today I lament the adventure I find myself on for a fourth time. One I wish was over. The burden of potty training.

I have successfully trained three kids - almost effortlessly.  That fact itself might be enough for some of you to believe I deserve what I am getting - which is an approaching one year anniversary of trying to toilet train my youngest.  Yes, reread that. One YEAR.

My other three were pretty much getting the hang of things by 2 1/2.  T4 wasn't showing much interest and everyone always said,  "He'll let you know when he's ready."   I thought, "I'm not really in that much of a hurry. I've changed diapers for 6 years, what's a little longer?"  and "The longer I wait the easier it'll be." Boy was I wrong.

My precious littlest is not being defiant or ornery.  He just isn't getting the hang of it.  He's filled up sticker charts, he's moved marble 'potty points', he's picked a toy and earned it off the top of the fridge. He even spent a glorious 2 weeks last summer naked.  (Much to my elderly neighbor's chagrin.) Still, no dice...or deuce, I guess is more like it.

I thought perhaps in my 'busy mom of 4' I was just not being consistent enough - too busy with chores to take him or not watching for his cues close enough. If I would just buckle down, he would get it.  Then,  a few months ago he spent a week with my mom, and unfortunately she notice he doesn't give any cues.  No matter how long he sits on the toilet - the duty always appears in the pants and not the potty.

SIGH...big sigh.

So, now we've got preschool, and art center, and the pool on the horizon.  Not to mention my severe disdain for changing a teenager's diaper (I know I am overreacting). So after 8 years of parenting, I bought cloth diapers. We're trying a cloth diaper liner in undies with plastic pants (to save our 4 month old carpet from the demise of it's predecessor.) And the reward for a turd is a family trip to the local ice cream shop.

I could really use some ice cream.

BLUE LIKE JAZZ : 1 - Setting

One of the most interesting things about Blue Like Jazz for me was reading the reviews after opening weekend, before it opened near me - before I saw it.  One of the criticisms was that the portrayal of Reed College was over the top and sometimes unnecessarily vulgar.  After seeing it, I was under the impression that these critics were probably much like myself. Inexperienced. Sheltered. Tucked away in my holy huddle.

 My realization that I have never really been out of my comfort zone spiritually was a tough one to swallow.  I have rarely experienced life outside of Christian webs of support.  Don't read me wrong:  I have and do operate in non-Christian circles, but my Christian support is never far away. Even when I was in Mongolia I was there with fellow believers.  As I studied in the collegiate theatre world, I had my Campus Ministry friends waiting each night as I came home.  I wonder how true this is for others.  How often do we operate outside of Christian, or at the least moral, company?  I believe for most of us the answer is: rarely.

This then leads me to ask the question: How often did Jesus operate outside of expected Jewish circles? The answer a resounding: often.  He would not have been surprised by the best-friend lesbian, the atheist genius, the author cynic.  He wouldn't have been surprised by them, he would have befriended them. Known them, loved them. He would have taken the time to figure out why they were that way.  Just as he took the time to invest in the swindler, the embezzler, the liar, the whore.

I had to laugh at the portrayal of the church - not because it was so hokey (and it was!) but because it is so accurate.  Seeing it so plainly was almost comical.  We think that puppets and pinata crosses will minister to a generation that is growing up with school shootings and pornography and cutting.  We really have no idea what we are up against, and when we see a real portrayal of how yearning souls live out their longing, we assume it's "over the top". It's not.  It's scandalous, and offensive, and very real.

But it's more than just the culture that offends - Christians tend to forget that the culture is made up of people.  People who make decisions because on a life they have lived.  Because of a parent they have lost.  Because of a hurt that hasn't healed.  Because of a truth they have never known.  Because of a treasure they haven't found, a freedom they so desperately want.

I don't know what it is like to be in a culture where if you believe in God, then you are labeled "foolish", "stupid", "close-minded". I mean on a small scale I know this - but I have never been ashamed.  But I can see how I so easily could be.  Blue Like Jazz made me ask the questions - Have I ever dared go where my faith is persecuted? Would I go if I was called to such a place - alone? Would I stand if I went?  What does it look like to love my neighbor as myself when all of my neighbors are the 'heathens' I've spent my whole life learning how to avoid relationship with?  What do I think of he ways I was brought up in "church" and how has that effected how I operate in the desperate and broken and wonderfully diverse waiting-to-be-free world?

CHARACTER: Me

SETTING: Christian, Moral Community - easy
SETTING: Broken, Real World - messy

CONFLICT: I've been called to more mess than ease. So now what?