Yellow Valentine

Okay, so I haven't been great at consistency over the last week or so, but I'm back.  Now to remember all the things I was going to blog about... At this minute I can't think of one.

 Just a sec...

I'll think of one...

Oh, yeah! No wait, that will take way longer than I have...

ummmm...

uhhh...

right. Here's one:

My 6 year old daughter is pretty nearly my twin in every way.  I mean sometimes she can read my thoughts! Love her.  She however hasn't grasped my need for organization and neatness.  (Some who have seen my house won't believe I have grasped this, but 'tis true).  When her kindergarten teacher gave the class the 'go ahead' to bring valentines, Tess could not wait one day.  She had 9 days to bring them in but she had to make them immediately.  I suggested that we could take a trip to the local discount store to get red and pink construction paper or glitter or just to get some inspiration from the craft aisle, but she was dead set on grabbing the 12 year old legal pad my mom had brought in a stack that she purchased at an estate sale.  Yes, the yellow lined paper that you are thinking of quickly became 23 hearts...that then got taped together to look like snow cone cups.  She quickly scribbled each name on their own "heart" (really you can't even tell they are hearts anymore.) I cringed and my inner Martha Stewart wailed and I couldn't help but say, "why don't you add a little picture or note on each one".  this is my child that LOVES to color and draw and decorate - but at this point getting them finished and ready for taking to school was of the utmost importance. So, she quickly scratched 'It's Valintines (nice phonics?) Day!' on some, and drew one colored pictures with soon-to-be dry markers on others.  And now for 3 days has been begging to take them to school, where the candy hearts we will put inside would be left to get hard and even nastier than they inherently are.

But through it all, I [mostly] kept my mouth shut.  There was a time that I would have refused to let her give those valentines, or I would have hijacked the project and made them pretty or at least cute, or at the very least neatly written - because I would have been overly concerned about what the teacher or other student's parents might have thought.  I am not claiming the urge has completely subsided, but I am less concerned with my appearance to others and more interested in Tess giving something that is truly from her.  I'm not sure she won't get to the Valentine's Day party and see some of the cute treats and cards that she gets and wishes she had thought and planned a bit more (I have passed on a bit of taste...). But she may not.  She may be perfectly happy with her legal pad paper creations.  And I will keep one in her memory box and pull it out in 15 years and remember more about her than if it had been a store-bought Barbie card, or cute-crafty thing I made.

I just love seeing them become who they are.
These little glimpses are so precious.

I also see how I have grown a little more into who I am.