BLUE LIKE JAZZ : 2 - Awkward

One of the most impact-full scenes in Blue Like Jazz for me was at the end (SPOILER ALERT) when Don finally addresses the Pope (a brilliant atheist friend of Don's at Reed College) in the 'confessional' after he has passed the position of Pope on to Don for the next year...it sounds weird and too hard to explain, but stay with me.

He has joined this friend in several offensive acts of vandalism and in the process has discovered that as a young boy he [the Pope] was very hurt by a leader of the church.  In this closing scene, Don puts his desire to be excepted by his friend on the line and apologizes (a bit on behalf of the church) for the hurt that was caused him...something the Pope didn't even realize Don had picked up on.  As Don, for seemingly the first time, dawns the door of a serious heart-to-heart the Pope comments, "This is about to get weird isn't it?" To which Don replies, "Probably."


Sometimes to take the step from buddies to friends we have to be willing to cross that threshold of "awkward". But I think often Christians invite themselves into these sacred of conversations with people they haven't earned the trust and respect of yet.  Often don't we see our not yet believing friends as projects?  Aren't we secretly waiting for that little comment that allows us to stick our foot in the door and leave it there even if the person inside has decided they'd rather shut it?

I am not saying that spiritual conversation has to be limited to deep friendships and that opportunities don't present themselves in less intimate settings and relationships, but I am saying that sometimes we rush these conversations to the point of not being as effective as they might be if we sat back and really listened, invested, loved and spoke out of a deep conviction and love for that person.  To wait until the conversation is less about conversion and more about restoration. (Not to imply that conversion is not important.)

It's just that in this scene it struck me that this character [the Pope] had spent a decade or more defaming the church, God, and anyone who was silly enough to believe - and yet without knowing befriended one of these sillies [Don] and in the end was deeply effected when that friend-who hadn't spent their relationship preaching, but listening and loving-finally took that step. The Pope opened the door and invited Don inside. You see, the 'awkward' conversation was atypical for their friendship, but it wasn't offensive or insensitive.  It was weird.  They put that out there and forged ahead into it together, and the result was beautiful.

Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I wasn't known as a Christian.  Is that horrible?  I don't know.  There is just so much hurt and preconceived notions about "Christians".  I would love it if I lived in such a way that I reflected Jesus and people like the Pope wanted to be around me, and in the end I would authentically love them enough to have that "weird", hope-filled, restorative, conversation. And that they would love me back enough to listen.